HOOL AND SOCIAL DRAMA, 



'-!^ct ^77-ell 3ro-u.r part. 



PETS OF SOCIETY 



J^ IP^^E^OE. 



7. ^. p£NI30 



N, 



OPDBXGE 15 GSn^TTS. 



CHICAGO : 

T. S. DENISON. 



NO PLAYS EXCHANGED. 




FOR SCHOOLS AND AMATEURS. 



X 880. 



Price, 15 Cents Each, Postage Paid. 



These plays have been prepared expressly to meet the wants of teachers 
and amateur clubs by teachers of extended experience in the school room 
and in the presentation of amateur plays. They are simple iu couetructiou, 
and require no scenery, or only such as "is usually at hand. They aflord ample 
opportunity for 'Utcting.^'' They are pure in tone uttd language. 

The " School and "Social. Drama' series are no longer on trial. Their 
success is assured. The testimonials given with each play express the 
opinions of those who have used the play and know whereof they epeaif. 

" If the succeeding numbers are as good as the first, we predict for them 
a large Cmmn-AA.''''— National Teachers'' Monthly, N. Y. and Chicago. 

"The farces are full of fun.'" — Daily Inter-Ocean^ Chicago. 

"These plays are supplying the dearth of good literature in this depart- 
ment.''— iV. Y. School Bulletin. 

" We do not Ivuow of twelve dramas in the language (twelve sent for re- 
view) better adapted to teach good lessons and at the same time furnish 
amusement to the young." — New England Jour. Education. 
OnnS WITH THE ENEMY. 

A drama in five acts; 7 male and 4 female characters. Time, 1 hour, 
45 m. Contains a good humorous negro character. 

" It took splendidly. 'Tabbs' made it spicy."— C E. Eogers, DunlirJc, 
Ind. 

SETH GREENBACK. 

A drama In four acts : 7 male and 3 female. Time, 1 hour 15 m. Contains 
a good comic Irish character. 

" Seth Greenback was a perfect success. It can't be beat as an amateur 
drama."— T-Te^///. Talhott, Coatsrille, Ind., Drainalic Club. 
WANTED, A CORRESPONDENT. 

A farce in two acts, 4 male and 4 female. Time, 45 m. Very interesting 
and amusing. 

INITIATING A GRANGER. 

A ludicrous farce; 8 male. Time. 25 m. 

" We used Initiating a Granger. It was laughable beyond description." — 
J. W. Simmons, Lawrence, Mich. 

THE SPARKLING CUP. 

A temperance drama iu five acts; 12 male and 4 female. Time, 1 hour, 45 
m. A thrilling play, worthy the best eftorts of amateurs. Pathetic song and 
death scene. 

"The Sparkling Cup met with great success. It is the great rival of Ten 
Nights iu aBar Koom.'^— TT. F. Kuhn, De Graff, O. 
A FAMILY STRIKE. 

A spicy farce, illustrating " strikes ,"" 3 male and 3 female. Time 20 m. 
TWO GHOSTS IN WHITE. 

A humorous farce based on boarding-school life; 7 female characters. 
Time, 25 m. Very funny throughout, and contains some excellent hits. 



PETS OF SOCIETY 



A FARCE 



T. S. DENISON. 



Autlior of Odds with the Enemy; Initiating a Granger; Wanted^ a 
Correspondent; A Family Strike; Selh Greenback; Hans Von 
Smash ;Borroioing Trouble; Two Ghosts in White; The Pull- 
Back; Country Justice; The Assessor; T'he Sparkling 
Cup; Louva tlie Pauper; Our Country; The School- 
Ma'am; Tim Kansas Immigrants; The Irish 
Linen Peddler; Is the Editor In ? An Only 
Daughter; Hard Cider; Too much 
of a good Thing. Etc., Etc. 




CHICAGO: 

T. S. DENISON. 

Copyright, 1880, by T. 8. Denism. 



CHARACTERS. 

Mrs. De Brugh. 
Lillian De Bjiugh. 
Seraphina De Brugh. 
Mrs. Vandewalter. 
Mrs. Weston. 
Wilhelmina. 
Katie. 



P5I534 



Time of representation, twenty-five minutes. 



STAGE DIRECTIONS. 

R. means right of the stage facing the audience ; C. center ; 
L. left ; JR. D. right door ; L. D. left door, etc. ; 1 E. first entrance ; 
U. E. upper entrance, etc. ; D. F. door in flat or scene runniug 
across the back of the stage ; 1 G. first groove, etc. 



SYNOPSIS. 

Comparison of heaux. Pico's breakfast. Description of Mr. 
Vandewalter's seven attitudes. How proposals are made. In- 
side view of a- call. The great grief. The dreadful missives 
fi-om the beaux. New opportunities to shine, and consequent 
happiness. 



PETS OF SOCIETY. 



Scene. —Elegantly farmshed drawing-room. Pictures, statuary, 
sofas, easy chairs, etc. Discovered seated as tlie curtain rises, Lil- 
lian and Seraphina De Brugh; 

Lillian. Sister, what a dreary day this has been. 

Seraph. Oh, dear! it is so dreadfully long. It never will pass. 
I'll never rise early again as long as I live. Just think! I rose 
at eleven and breakfasted at ten minutes before twelve. I made 
my toilet in fifty minutes — only half the time I usually require. 
Hurry is another name for worry. 

L. {Laughs.) Early rising will ruin your health, I fear, Ser- 
aphina. Why, I finished my breakfast at eleven, precisely. I 
rose at ten. 

8. You are accustomed to early rising, Lillian. Your con- 
stitution is better. You know I never was strong. {Lcuiguishes 
on sofa.) 

L. (Mockingly.) Poor thing! You've always been strong 
enough to attend every ball, and you haven't missed a party this 
winter. 

S. Lillie, you little know how it taxes me, but I never will 
shrink from duty. 

Lj. AYf 11, if it's duty don't complain. We never should com- 
plain of duty. I go for the %>lcnsure. 

S. You always were a giddy, thoughtless thing. 

L. Ah, sister be careful! No comparisons or reflections. But, 
reall}^ if societ}' is wearing on you, why don't you try (o get 
home a little earlier ? I never can get you out of a ball room be- 
fore three o'clock in the morning. 

>S'. Isow, Lillian, do be reasonable. You know the best peo- 
ple never leave before three. 

L. Then don't complain if you consider such hours neces- 
sary. I wonder how Pico is this afternoon? 

S. He was veiy ill last night. He was fevered and rest- 
less. 

L. Poor fellow! I hope it is nothing serious. I must en- 
quire for him at once. (Rings hell.) 



4 PETS OF SOCIETY. 

S. I do liope his cold won't turn into pneumonia. 
Enter Katie, M. 

Katie. Did you ring, young ladies ? 

L. Yes, Katie. How is Pico this afternoon ? 

Katie. Better, mum ! (Aside.) The little baste. 

L. Then bring him down to dinner. Get him a real nice ten- 
der beefsteak, milk and buttered toast. 

Katie. (Goitig, aside, li.) It's little I care if he dies. (Aloud.) 
Yes'm I'll see to sending up his breakfast. (Aside.) I'll not 
bring it meself. That's not a lady's work. 

L. Poor Pico! 

S. Poor dear thing ! 

L. It's too bad that he should suffer so. 

S. It's really cruel ! 

L. And he bears it all like a martyr. 

S. I'm afraid he'll die. He's too good to live. 

Kilter WiLHELMINA, H. 

W. Here is te leetle toggle. (Places poodle dog in a chair.) 

L. (Taking up Pico, kisses his forehead.) Sweet Pico ! Are you 
better? Want your dinner? 

S. Give him to me, Lillie. I must see him. (Tries to take 
dog.) 

L. Seraphina, do go away. You always want to monopolize 
everything. 

S. It is you who are selfish, sister. I will have Pico. Sweet 
Pico. Poor thing. 

L. (Pettishly.) Then take him and keep him until you starve 
the poor, dear thing. Katie, get his dinner ready. 

Katie. Please mum, an' I think that is not my place. Such 
work belongs in the kitchen. 

8. Kitchen, indeed! You ought to be proud of w^aiting on 
Pico. Wilhelmina, get his dinner ready. The poor dear is 
hungry. ( Wilhelmina exits JR, for dinner.) 

Katie. (Aaide.) If it was meself I might wait till I starved. 

L. I'm going to let Pico eat off this table. It's none too good 
for him. 

S. Not a bit. He's an invalid now. (They remove things from 
center tctble.) 

Enter AYilhelmina with a tray containing Pico's dinner'. 

L. Put it on the table, Mina. There, now take the cover off 
the toast. I'm afraid that steak is not rare enough for Pico. He 
likes it very rare. 

/S. Is the milk fresh ? 

W. I got te freshes dis mornin' milk. 

L. Is the toast buttered nicely ? Pico can't bear it too hard. 

W. I butter him vair nicel}-. 

Katie. (Aside.) An' I'll baste him. 



PETS OF SOCIETY. 5 

S. Now, Pico, here's j'Oiir dinner. Try a little toast and steak. 
(Puts dog on the table.) That's a good fellow, eat and get well. 
Mina, wait on him. Cut his steak. He don't like to chew it in 
large pieces. 

Katie. (Aside.) I'd mince the puppy. 

L. Did you put an extra cover on Pico's bed last nic'ht, 
Katie ? 

K. Yes'm. 

.S. See that he don't catch a fresh cold. Oh dear, if we 
should lose him. 

L. Seraphina, don't talk so. The very thought of it makes 
me shudder. There, now, Wilhelmina, I think j^ou had better 
take him back to his room. I'm afraid he'll eat too much. Katie, 
remove the things. Seraph, let's go into the green-house and 
see the plants. I'm tired moping here. 

S. Good bye, Pico. {They throw lasses to the dog. E.ceimt,L.) 

Katie. AVell, I'll ask for a character immediately. I won't 
wait on dog.s. I'll starve first. {Looking at the dog.) Oh, you 
little baste ! {Shakes her finger at him.) I'd like to wring your 
ugly little neck. 

XV. Oh, he's one innocent, little, nice doggie. 

Katie. He is a little puppy. That's what he is The idea that 
I should e;irry breakfast to a dog. I knows my place. My 
place is light chamber woik. I tliink that the kitchen girls 
needn't mind lookin' after poodle dogs because thev hasn't 
such a staudin' to maintain. 

W. Staudin'! What is a standin' in English? 

Katie. Them as hasn't it don't know. 

W. Does it belong to te family ? I don't mind te little dog. 
He is one nice little fellow. 

Katie. It belongs to them and it belongs to me. It's sthyle. 

W. Oh, is dat all ! Pico has te stjde, too. 

Katie. Och, an' he may have hyderforby this minnit. 

IF. Wat is te hyder — wat is it? 

Katie. People that has education knows all about it ? The 
little baste that has it goes mad, and froths and bites. 

W. He has it not. He is not vair much sick. I will carry 
him and you will carry te dishes. De dishes haven't te hyder — 
wat is it?"^ 

Katie. Hyderforby! 

Enter Lillian and Seraphina L. 

L. Girls, are j'ou still here? You must not delay j^our work. 
{Exeunt. Girls i?., rather hastily.) 

S. What an annoyance servants are. 

L. It is dreadful ! I wish we could get along without them. 

S. But we can't, sister. You are always talking impossibili- 
ties. I wonder where Harlcy is this afternoon? 

L. {Snappishly.) I don't know. I do wish you would quit 
talking abort that boy. You knovr we never can ex}>ect any- 



6 PETS OF SOCIETY. 

thing from liini . I Tsisli we liad a real, nice brother. 

S. Oh, wouldn't that he nice! One who would dress himself 
decently and attend us to parties. Harley is so selfish. To think 
he isn't williuii; to dress for a party. Says it is too much trouble. 
Why, he can dress in half an hour. I've often spent as much as 
four hours dressing for a ball. 

L. And I've spent three many a time. 

S. You are always in a hurry, Lillie. 

L. I have no patience with Harley. I don't blame mother 
one bit for refusing him further supplies of money till he is 
willing to dress like a gentlemen. 1 thought I should die when 
he went to that party in a business suit. 

8. I didn't get over the shock for a month. 

L. And then he added insult to injury by appearing at the 
dinner table in his yachting suit, when ]Mrs. Silvcrstar and Miss 
Silverstar were visiting us, and poor mamma did so hope Harley 
would take a liking to Miss Silverstar. She has such lots of 
money. 

>'. It's very dreadful ! 

L. It's a shame! He told mamma, too, that Miss Silverstar 
wasn't his style of girl. 

S. Harley don't try to please mamma a bit. The idea ! As 
if money wasn't everything! I wish he had the manners of 
George Vandewalter. 

L. ^ Or of Harry Wharton. 

S. Lillie, you think Harry is perfection. I think he is silly. 

L. And you think Mr. Vandewalter is very brilliant. I say 
he is decidedly stupid. 

8. Now, sister, don't be spiteful. 

L. I won't, if you don't begin it. 

8. You know George is always the center of attraction. 

L. Yes, for those who like his style, and are pleased with 
poetry and all that sort of stuff. You know, too, that Harry is 
a splendid waltzer. And he knows how to hand an ice to a 
lady, and how to eat salads elegantly, and such exquisite taste — 

8. For salads ? 

L. In neck-ties, and so graceful, and what a figure. There is 
a charm about his society — 

8. There now, sister, that is quite suflScient. I know already 
that 3'ou are in love with him, so I'll not deny he has charms— 
for you. 

L. Harry Wharton is rich, too. 

8. Mr. Vandewalter has money enough to buy him. Hi) 
charms do not depend on ices and salads and waltzin2:, though 
he can waltz superbl,y, and his bow is the most dio-nified anc 
courtly I ever saw. He reminds me of— of— of— oh, dt^ir ! Georgf 
.told me who that was, and he was painting his own portrait ah 
the while. Who was he ? 

L. W^as he an Irishman, sister ? 

8. ( With toss of head.) No ! 



PETS OF SOCIETY. T 

L. Was he a Dutchman ? 

S. DuicJmum! He was a real, nice gentleman. Some poet 
wrote about him. Anyway, Mr. Vandewalter looks like him. 
Lillie, it is perlectly bewitcliing to see George enter a room, and 
he has at least seven different attitudes. 

L. Seven attitudes'! What arc they ? 

S. Three are for a standing position and four sitting. 

L. Wonderful ! 

8. I will try to describe them, Lillie. But then, you know, 
language is wholly inadequate to express so much grace, so 
much poetry of motion, so much soul. First, tliere is the digni- 
fied erect position, head and shoulders back, oh ! so commanding. 
Then there is the graceful bending of the body as- the elbow 
rests on a chair back. 

L. Your chair ! 

8. I confess" it often is my chair. Then there is the captivat- 
ing statuesque attitude of leaning against a casement. Oh, Lillian, 
did you ever notice George lean against a casement ? 

L. I think not, Serapliina. 

8. Of course not; you have no taste for anything really artis- 
tic. Of his sitting attitudes, there is the elegant^attitude, the 
careless attitude, the thoughtful altitude, etc. 

L. I wasn't aware he ever assumed a tJioughtfal attitude. 

8. Sister, I will overlook your insinuation. It is in very 
bad taste. You have no soul, no appreciation of the beautiful. 
Really, I can't begin to describe all his attitudes. 

L. Please don't try, sister, there is one whicli I have never 
seen Mr. Vandewalter attempt to assume. It is a very striking 
one, and would, I think, be very beautiful. 

*S'. He could assume it if he tried. What is it? I will men- 
tion it to him, 

L. Standing on his head. 

8. {8arc((stically.) Oh, it would take your elegant waltzer, 
Harry Wharton, to do that. By the way, have you induced him 
to propose yet ? 

L. No ! He's awfully slow. 

8. Perhaps he will not propose, at all. Mr. Vandewalter is 
sure to propose to me before a week. I feel it coming. 

L. I'll wager my new necklace against yours that Harry 
proposes first. He is fluttering a little nearer all the time. I'll 
make him propose in fine style. It doesn't do to have the men 
think that one cares at all for a proposal. 

8. I shouldn't think you did. Harry will be what number? 
Twenty? 

L. I couldn't tell without consulting my note book. Isn't it 
funny, though, the way men will net. When JNIr. Robinson 
proposed I really pitied him. lie looked uneasy all evening, so 
I knew something was going to happ(!n. At last he dropped on 
both knees and spread both hands out this way. {8he s'preads 
her hands awkwardly) Then he tried to speak but could'nt say 



8 PETS OF SOCIETY. 

a word. I told him to get up and lead me to the ball-room, and 
I'd always be his firm friend. 

H. Pshaw! There is no romance in such a proposal. This 
is the way Mr. Vandewalter will propose. Lillie, take this chair 
and act the lady's part, and I will act the gentlema'.i's. (Lillkm 
seated.) He will first make an elegant bow, thus (Bows.) then 
he will sink gracefully on the right knee thus, and raise the 
hands in an eloquent appeal: "Lovely and angelic being" — . 

^Jiiter Katie R. 
Oh, dear! (Rises suddenly.) How disagreeable to be interrupt 
ed ! Katie, what do you want ? 

Katie. If you please, mum, the cook wants to know if you 
expect company for dinner. 

>S'. Katie, I am positively vexed with you for interrupting us 
for orders in that way. Why did not yoii ask mamma ? 
Katie. She was gone driving before we thought to ask her. 
L. Katie, we shall have no company for dinner. You may 
go at once, please. 

Katie. (Gu.rtseys) Yes'm! (Aside.) Faith it's an odd time 
o' day for prayers. An' odd prayers. (Exit R.) 

S. That girl seems to be my evil genius. She is always 
coming in unexpectedly. 

L. And catches you doing some very absurd thing. I'm 
sorry she came, I wanted to hear the rest of that speech and to 
hear what the adorable angelic being would say in response. 

8. (Sentimentally.) I should raise the gallant knight from 
the floor — after a proper amount of supplication — and make his 
heart glad with a sweet echo of his own feelings. 
Enter Mrs. DeBrugh. 
L. And fall into his arms. 

Mrs. Be B. — What's that ? Whose arms are you going to fall 
into now ? 
S. Dear me, its ma ! 

Mrs. Be B. And are you unwilling to have your ma overhear 
your private conversation, daughter? 

B. Oh, no indeed! but then — but — possibly we say things 
that might not interest you. 

Mrs. "j)e B. But it does interest me. I dare say you were 
talking about some young scapegrace with a handsome face but 
without a penny. 

8. No, indeed, ma ! He is wealthy and — in short, everything. 
We were speaking of Mr. Vandewalter. 

Mrs. BeB. (Pleased.) That is quite a diff'erent affair. I have 
entire confidence in Mr. Vandewalter. I feared some fresh 
trouble, 

L. Fresh trouble ! What is the matter now, ma ? You are 
not ill ? 

Mrs. Be B. No, daughters, I am not ill. Give me time to 
collect myself. (Seats herself.) 



PETS OF SOCIETY. 9 

S. (To LilUmi.) What can be the matter? Somothinc: dread- 
ful has happened, I know. Ma, please tell us at once. AVe can't 
bear the suspense. Something awful has hapi)ened. Is Pico 
dead ? 

Mrs. Be B. No, my child, it is harder to bear than that. 

L. Harley has been committing some new enormity. That 
boy will drive us all out of society if he persists in dressing and 
acting like a savage. 

Mrs. Be B. Your brother's conduct was liard to bear, but new 
trouble makes it seem light. 

L. I know it must be so! AYhat else can it be. The parrot 
has lost her voice again and she'll never recover. 

Mrs. Be B. (A JUile sharply.) The iiarrot is quite well. I 
will tell you all if you'll only give me time. 

>S'. Oh, ma! please don't keep us in suspense. The worst 
has happened. I will try to bear it. Something has happened 
to the canary? 

Mrs. Be B. No ! Give me time to breathe ! 

S. Then it is something that has befallen George. 

B. Or Harry! Do tclUis. 

Mrs. Be B. 'Poor things! You can't go to Mrs. General 
Fiasco's ball ! 

B. and 8. Can't go ! 

Mrs. Be B. No! You can't get dresses. The milliners arc 
so busy they refuse to take any more orders for that occasion. 
They are working day and night. 

S. This is dreadful ! 

B. Ma, if we miss that we might as well retire from society 
for the season. 

Mrs. Be B. I know it, Lillie dearest, but you have nothing to 
wear, and it is too late now to send to Paris as we did last year. 

B. Did you try them all, ma ? You know Mrs. De Fringe 
almost took our order last week. 

Mrs. Be B. Oh, if we had only given it! I tried lliem all. 
You are aware, daughter, that there are but three in town 1 hat 
could possibly fill Uie requirements. They all said the same. 
Mrs. De Fringe says there never was such a rush for the most 
exquisite toilets. The orders were given very early. 

;S'. {Petulantlij. I wanted to give ours early. 

Mrs. Be B. You know, Seraphina, that by waiting we could 
find out what others got and excel them. 

B. And we had set our hearts upon it so much. We must 
go. Harry will expect to take me to supjier. 

S. And Mr. Vandewalter will think we are unable to main- 
tain our position, and it may lead to misunderstandings. 

B. I wish General Fiasco wouldn't consent to give the ball. 

Mrs. Be B. Oh, he has already announced it. He intends to 
run for governor next year, and Uiis ball is really the beginning 
of the canipaign. 

B. It's perfectly dreadful ! 



10 PETS OF SOCIETY. 

S. It's really awful! 

Enter Katie, icith a card on card receiver, 
Katie. (To Mrs. Be B.) The lady is below, sliall I show her 

Mrs. Be B. {Reads on card.) Mrs. Weston ! {Aside to girls) 
Here is that Mrs. Weston calling again. She ought to know I 
only called on her because we are both on the Committee of 
Local Charities in our church. 

L. I'd cut her at once. 

S. Say "not at home." 

Mrs. Be B. No ! she saw me drive past. I'll not return her 
call. 

Katie. What shall I say, mum ? 

Mrs. Be B. Show the lady up, Katie. 

Katie. {Curtseys) Yes'm. 

Mrs. Be B. Daughters, do not be too friendly. A dignified 
reserve is proper under the circumstances. 

Enter Katie, showing in Mrs. Weston. 

Mrs. Be B. Good afternoon, Mrs. Weston. How do you do? 

Mrs. ^V. I'm very well, thank you. Good afternoon. Miss 
De Brugh and Miss Lillian. How charming your daughters 
look, Mrs. De Brugh. 

Mrs. Be B. Thank you, Mrs. Weston. 

8. You ilatter us, Mrs. Weston. 

Mrs. Be B. Be seated. {Mrs. Be B. and Mrs. W. seated, G) 

L. {Aside to Seraphina, B) She has very good taste, anyway. 

S. But no money. It's such a pity. 

M7's. W. It was such a delightful afternoon I thought I would 
return your call. 

Mrs. Be B. How kind of you to return it so soon. 

Mrs. W. I met the young ladies driving day before yester- 
day. I think {to girls) you did not recognize me tliough. 

8. No, we did not recognize you. 

Mrs. W. How strange ! I signalled to you with my parasol. 

8. Oh, it is very difficult to recognize people on foot when 
one is in a carriage. We seldom stop to speak with any one. 

Mrs. Be B. Most people don't expect to be recognized. 

Mrs. W. Mr. Weston is going to buy a handsome new car- 
riage. 

Mrs. Be B. New carriages are ver}^ nice for people who can 
afford them. 

L. {Aside) She's trying to make believe they have money. 

Mrs. W. I shall have to drive alone mostly. Husband is so 
busy making investments. He is going to build a residence at 
last. 

Mrs. Be B. A residence ! 

Mrs. W. Yes, Mr. Weston was very fortunate in his Colorado 
investments: He has just disposed of his interests there for oyer 



PETS OF SOCIETY. 11 

a quarter million, and now we are going to sit down and enjoy 
life. Mrs. DeBrugh. 

Mn. Be B. {Suddenly becomes very affable.) Wliy, how for- 
timate you are, Mrs. Weston. Allow me to congratulate you. 

8. And we must congratulate ourselves on having Mrs. 
Weston, as our friend. 

L. Why, how negligent we have been ma ! Mrs. Weston, let 
me take your shawl and bonnet. {liingsfor Kate.) 

3Irs. W. {Removing them.) Thank you! 

Mrs. Be B. Pardon me, Mrs. ^Veston, I really was too for- 
getful. 

Enter Katie, L. 
Here, Katie, take care of Mrs. Weston's things. 

Katie. Yes'm. {Curtseys. Exit, L.) 

Mrs. Be B. Now do tell us all about your new house. We 
shall be so much interested. I hope you will be near us. 

3Irs. W. Mr. Weston has secured beautiful grounds at the 
corner of Grand Avenue and Ruby Place. 

B. What a delightful location ! 

8. In full view of the Park ! 

B. And among very good people ! 

Mrs. Be B. I really euvy you, Mrs. Weston. 

Mrs. W. We design building a fashionable house throughout, 
latest style. 

>S'. How lovely it Avill be. I almost wish our old mansion 
would burn down so we could build another. It's so old. Just 
think! it was built durmg the war. 

Mrs. Be B. Daughter, that wish would be almost a sin if your 
motives were not so good. 

B. We shall be so^glad to get better acquainted with you this 
season. Your name is among the very first on the list* for my 
birthday party. {Beads from tiny memorandum book:) Mrs. James, 
Mrs. Hollister, Miss Kite, Mrs. Weston — 

;S^. {Warningly.) Sister! {Aside) That is the list to be 
"cut." 

Mrs. W. It was very kind of you to think of me among the 
first. 

Z. {Laughs.) Oh, not at all! {Aside to Seraphina.) She 
don't know the ditierence. 

Mrs. W. I think I must be going. Ladies, don't put ofii" com- 
ing to see me too long. 

Mrs Be B. We shall be only too happy to call on you soon. 
But can't you wait and dine with us ? 

3Irs. W. No, thank you. I promised my husband I would 
be home for dinner. {8he is accompanied to the door, L, by the 
ladies; Mrs. Be B and 8eraph. go out B). 

Enter Wilhelmina, B. 

W. Miss Leelleean, wat moost I geef leetle Pico for his sup- 
per V 



12 PETS (3F SOCIETY. 

L. Oil, I entirely forgot poor Pico. I must consult sister and 
mamma before I decide. {Exit, L.) 

Katie enters L, with card on tray. 

Katie. Are you still worryin' over that little baste of a dog ? 

W. Te little toggle is not at all a beast. Katie, in Norway 
we treat so good as the de children te little toggles. 

Katie. In Ameriky they treat them better than the children. 
What do you waut for him, now V 

W. I will get his supper. 

Katie. Do you know what I'd get him ? 

W. Toast and te chicken. 

Katie. Pd give him toast and chicken. I'd spread the toast 
and stuff the chicken. 

W. What would you stuff in te chicken ? 

Katie. I'd {in low tone) stuff the chicken with strychnine, and 
for a bit o' variety, I'd spread the toast with arsenic. 

W. {Solemnly.) You would be a sinner. 

Enter the ladies, L. 

L. Wilhelmina, you must give poor Pico a very light diet 
while he is convalescent. For his supper he must have nothing 
but tw^o poached eggs, very soft, and sweet cream. 

W. Yes, maam ! {Curtseys and exits M.) 

Katie. {Aside.) There'd be some sense in keepin' a bit of a 
pig. {Aloud, coming forward.) A card, mum. 

Mrs DeB. {Takes card.) " Mrs. Vandewalter." Show her up 
at once, Katie. 

Katie. {Courtseys.) Yes'm. {Exit L.) 

S. It's George's mother. She always has something to say 
about George. Oh, I'm all in a flutter. 

L. Don't be excited, sister. You are very absurd. 

S. {Pouiingly.) And you are very heartless. 

Katie shoics in Mrs. Vandewalter, L. 

Mrs. De B. My dear Mrs. Vandewalter, you don't know how 
glad we are to see you. {Kisses her.) 

8. Oh, so glad ! {Kisses Jier very affectionately.) 

L. How are you Mrs. Vandewalter? {Kisses her without de- 
mo ihst ration.) 

Mrs. V. Really you overpower me with profusion of wel- 
come. 

Mrs. De B. How are all your family? 

Mrs. V. They are all well, thank you. 

L. Of course George is well ? {Glances at Seraphina.) 

Mrs. V. George is'quite well. 

8. {Aside.) Sister, that was real mean. 

Mrs. B. Has George given up his idea of West India specu- 
lation ? 

Mrs. V. I am afraid not. I have tried every means to pre- 



PETS OF SOCIETY. i:) 

vent his leaving home on anj' pretext. 

3Irs. De B. Young men often become restive under homo i< -- 
traints. 

31rs. V. I have been hoping that George would settle dow.;. 
He seems too undecided. 

L. (Aside.) Seraphina, can't you bring him to a dc/i - 
ion ? 

aS. (Aside.) Do stop ! 

Mrs. Be B. It is best for young men to be settled in life, i la;- 
ley has proved so recreant to his training that I feel di,^trii.^ttid 
of the position of a young man till he is settled. 

Mr.s. V. Perhaps Harley may be all right in time. 

3Irs. Be B. I see no hope. Since he appeared at the dinn;;- 
table in a 5^atching suit when compan}^ was present I'm in 
despair. 

Mrs. Y. That was unfortunate, indeed. 

Mrs. Be B. It was humiliating in the extreme. 

L. Since that I have cut the acquaiutauce ot ]Mr. Ge;)rg(' 
Harley. 

Enter Katie icith letters, L. 

Katie. The carrier has been here, mum. (Gurt.v'ys nn-J nvHx, 
L.) 

Mrs. Be B. Three letters ; one for me and one for each of you, 
daughters. (The young ladies eagerly take the notes and viooe 
apart to read them.) 

tS. (Aside.) It is from George. That means the opera and ;i 
supper at Del Farino's. (Tears open note.) 

L. (Aside.) From Harry I declare. That means a moon- 
light drive and oysters and champagne. 

S. (Screams.) Oh dear! It is terrible ! I shall die! I know 
I shall. 

Mrs. Be B. What is the matter, dear? Has your brother 
Harley—? 

/S'. Worse than that, ma. 

Mrs. V. Seraphina, you are ill. What has happened ? Won't 
j'ou tell me ? (L. drops her note and stamj^s it.) 

Mrs. Be B. Lillian, what is the matter ? 

B. I sha'n't tell. 

8. Give me time. I am quite overcome. 

Mrs. Be B. Poor child! 

S. It is from George. 

Mrs. V. From George ! Has anything happened to George ? 

B. (Paces the floor angrily.) I don't care! 

8. It is worse than if something had happened. He has gone 
to the West Indies and asks me to forget him. Let me die. lam 
done with this world. 

B. Seraphina, don't be a fool. Let them go. They're a 
couple of dunces, anyway. 



14 PETS OF SOCIETY. 

Mrs. V. Mrs. De Brugh, this is veiy unexpected. I did hope 
better thinirs of that boy. 

Mrs. De B. You caii't rely on young men now-a-days. I can 
appreciate your feelings after sutfering what I have at the hands 
of Harley. (Girls talk aside.) 

Mrs. V. It is so sudden, but I'll prevent the execution of his 
mad scheme yet if possible. I fear reason will do little good. 
He has a will of his own. 

S. And so have I. Tell Mr. George Yandewalter I will take 
him at his word and forget him. • 

L. Bravo I Seraphina. 

Mrs. Be B. Seraphina. you must not speak liastily. (To Mrs. 
V.) This only adds to the difficulty. If you can answer for 
George I'll answer for Seraphina. 

Mrs. V. I shall make eveiy effort and begin at once. So good 
afternoon Mrs. De Brugh and young ladies. 

Mrs. Be B. (Aside to^Mrs. V.) A word with you Mrs. Yande- 
walter! (Exeunt conversing in l/>w tone, L.) 

S. (Sobs.) I shall never see George again. 

L. Seraphina, have you no pride. 

S. Yes, Lillian, plenty of it. That's why I liked George. 

L. Then for the same'reason let him go. I always thought he 
was a fool. 

>S. Indeed ! Pi-ay what do you think of Mr. Harry "VYharton 
the superb waltzer ? 

L. What do I care for Harry Wharton ? 

>S'. What did he say? 

L. Xot much : (Beads.) " Dear Lillian — I have been think- 
ing much lateh' concerning that ball. Kids, bouquets, and other 
necessaries of life are ver}' high this season; so I start for Cali- 
fornia to-night. Ta! tal'love. Yours, Harry. 

S. Did ever any one hear so much impudence ? 

Enter Mrs. De B., L. 

Kids high! He is very poor or very stingy. Humph ! (Wii \ "is- 
dain.y 

L. Sister, will George take all his large stock of killing aiM- 
tudes to the West Indies? 

6'. Lillian, you are really too mean! 

Mrs. Be B. Daughters, this wrangling does not become ycnr.g 
ladies, of the bon ton. Leave that to the^common people. *Tft!-^^ 
to me and all will be well. Why. I forget to read my notp. 
(Opens note, reads, icith surprise.) My dears, this wilf repay 
us for all the vexation and disappointment of the day. It is a..- 
most too good to be true. 

L. What is the news, ma ? 

Mrs. Be B. De Fringe can make your dresses. A largr 
order has been withdrawn and we are next on the list. Thf 
ladies giving the order are going to Europe un-xpectedly. Mrs. 
De. Fringe can, in consequence,"give us something superb. 



PETS OF SOCIETY. 15 

5. Splendid! 

Jfrs. Ik B. Yon shall be the queens of the evening, 

L. (Asidf.) How stnpid of Harrv to le^ve so soon. 

5. Ma. this— this— (^«^-5?Y/rf>f*.) 

Mr*. Ik B. TThat is it my dear ? Speak ont. 

>. This unforronate affair will make a little extra effort ne- 
cessary on OUT part. 

I. We mnst have everything money will command. Prestige 
is everything. There wlQ be ever so many nice yotmg men 
there. 

Mr<. I>i B. Nothing shall be spared. Yon must eclipse them 
all. and make new conquests. Admirers will fall at yonr feet. 
They cant resist the charms of two such peerless* Pets of 
Svx-izTY. 

CVBIAiy. 



iiDii \nm 




This scries is intended for school entertainments where eomethini? short and 
LivELT is wanted for boys and girls. These dialo<?ues are all original, and all 
have a poiKT. They are easy of presentation. Some of them are for boys only, 
some for girls, and some for both. * 

NUMBER i 

Published in 1879, was a decided Success. 

NUMBER 2 

is now ready. It contains dialogues and charades. 

Price, per number, paper cover, 25 cents. 



FRIDAY AFTERNOON SPEAKER 

EC. ivi:. so:FSI^. 

A choice collection, consisting chiefly of new pieces. This collection contains 
selections representing eyery shade of sentiment, from the most pathetic to the 
deepest vein of humor. Prof. Soper as a teacher of elocution is well qualified to 
judge of the merits of any piece for elocutionary purposes. His aim has been to 
compile a book which, while containing new matter, would at the same time be 
well adapted to public speaking. Every school should have this book. It will 
obnate all trouble in finding a piece to speak. Price, 25 cents Ready Jan. Ist. 



EIBIBITIOH AND FARLOS 118AIAS. 

tlu.st the thiuf/ for Amateur Clubs. 

A volume of plays suitable for society, church and school entertainments. The 
collection embraces ten popular plays. These plays present such a variety that 
no club can fail to make a good selection from them. The book contains two ex- 
cellent society dramas, a temperance drama, and seven farces. The names of 
the plays are as follows: For full description of each, see catalogue elsewhere. 
Odds mtth T!ie Enemy, Seth Greenback, Ixitiating a Granger, Wanted a 
Correspondent, T:ie Sparkling Cup, A Family Strike, Two Ghosts in White 
The Assessor, Borrowing Trouble, Country Justice. 

rian.lsop.iely bound i:i English silk. Gilt stamp. Price, post-paid, $1.25. 



THE ASSESSOR. 

A humorous sketch illustrating the difficulties of an assessor in listing 
the property of a shrewd old farmer. Full of unexpected developments; 3 
male and 2 female. Time, 15m. 

BORROWING TROUBLE. 

A ludicrous farce ; 3 male and 4 female. Time, 30 m, Illustrates the very 
amusing trials of a l)orro\ving family. ' "* 

" Borrowing Trouble tully sustained the excellent reputation gained by its 
author. It brought down the house."— J/adis(/re (TFis.) Democrat. 
COUNTRY JUSTICE. 

Avery amusing country lawsuit; 8 male characters. (May admitl4). Time, 
15 minutes. Contains a very remarkable verdict. 

LOUVA, THE PAUPER. 

A drama in five acts ; 9 male and 4 female characters. Time, 1 hour 45 m. 
Contains a good Yankee character and a humorous dai'ky character. This is 
an intensely interesting and pathetic pla\\ It admits of striking scenic el- 
fects, and is ^.strong and popular play for amateurs. 

Act I., Louva's tyrants. Act II., freedom promised and denied. Act III., 
the trial. Act IV., flight. Act Y., pursuit; death in the mountains; retribu- 
tion. 

" Send sample copy of a play that is as good as Louva the Pauper. That 
took splendidly here."— G. J. Railshnch, Minie7\ JR., Dramatic Club. 

" Peleg Pucker, the Yankee peddler, is inimitable."— Prac^ica/ Teacher, 
Chica{j(), 111. 

THE PULL-BACK. 

A laughable farce; 6 female. Time, 20 m. Contains an excellent old- 
fashioned "■ old lady" character. Pictures her adventures among the devotees 
of fashion. 

HANS VON S3IASH. 

A roaring farce in a prologue and one act; 3 male and 4 female. Time, 
30 m. Contains an excellent humorous Dutch character. This is a very pop- 
ular farce. Country lite. 

'• Hans brought down the houBe .'"— I>eVan Vlcck, Dee]) River, Iowa. 

ON THE BRINK, 

Or, Tlie Reclairn.ed Husbandr. 

A temperance drama in two acts, by 11. Elliott McBride; 12 male and 3 
female. Time, 1 hour, 45 m. Seven of the characters have unimportant 
parts, and some of the parts are so arranged that the same person may play 
two parts. Contains three humorous Yankee characters. 

"We rendered On the Brink a number of times very successfully to 
crowded houses."— 2>/'amafie Club, Cordova, Minn. 

A PARLOR ENTERTAINMENT. 

A sketch, by H. Elliott McBride; 2 male and 5 female. Time, 25 m. A 
first rate piece for boys and girls in school exhibitions. Very amusing. 
OUR COUNTRY. 

A patriotic drama in three parts. Requires 9 male, 3 female. (Admits 9 
male, 15 female.) Four fine tableaux. Time, about 1 hour. Based on Colon- 
ial and Revolutionary history of U. S. The narration is lively enough to make 
it take well. It contains some striking situations. 
A BAD JOB. 

A highly ludicrous farce, by H. Elliott McBride ; 3 male, 2 female. Time, 
30 m. 

What Have tve to do %futJi Plymouth RocJt? 

Acolloquy adapted to the use of Illinois schools, and of general interest 
to New England immigrants in the central Western States. By J. H. Blod- 
gett. May be used by f I om ten to twenty pupils. Time, 40 pi. Interesting 
and instructive in the histoiy of Illinois. 

AN ONLY DAUGHTER. 

A drama in three acts; 4 male, 2 female. Time, 1 hour, 15m. An intense- 
ly interesting story of petted indulgence, error, suffering, wrong, retaliation 
and repentance. Humor to make it take. No dialect. A Bociety play to 
suit the most fastidious. 




THE SCHOOL MA>A3I. 

A hrilliaut comedy in lour !ictn: G male, 5 female. Time, 1 hour, 45 m. 
Tliis play ie uot a mere tir?f^ue of imagiuaiive iucideute. There ie Kcarcely au 
iucideut iu it but has had its counterpart in the workings of our public 
schools. It contains a good comic Irish character, an American "Mrs. 
Gamp,' a "self-made man'' (poor job), and the typical American "'School 
Ma'am," anxious to succeed, but beset with difficulties. Every teacher, every 
director, eveiy citizen, should read it as a hooli, whether you wish it as a play 

THE IRISH LINEN PET)I>LEB. 

A lively farce; 3 male, 3 female. Time, 45 m. The action is lively, the 
iiicidi^nts unexpected and ludicrous. Pat O'Doyle, the peddler, is a combina- 
lion of wit, drollery, cunning and impudence. 

THE KANSAS I313IIGRANTS; or, The Great Exorln/t. 

A roaring farce; h male, 1 fe^nale. Time. 30 ni. Contains two darky 
charncters. Excruliatingly comical. Cannot fail to be a popular farce. 

IS THE EHITOR IN? 

A farce ; 4 male and 2 female. Time, 20 m. Scene, a country newspaper 
ofhce. Very amusing. 

A REGULAR J'lX. 
A farce, by J. Mt.disou Morton ; fi male, 4 female. Time, 3.5 m. Very popular. 

3IT TURN NEXT, 
A capital farce, by T. J. Williams; 4 male, Sfemale. Time, 45 m. Illus- 
trates the difficulties au apothecary encountered through marrying in haste. 

A KISS IN THE HARK. 

A farce, by J. B. Buckstone; 3 male, 2 female. Time, 40 m. A highly 
Biucessful farce. 

THE PERSECUTED DUTCHMAN. 

A farce, by S. Barry; 6 male, 3 fe.i;ale. Time, 40 m. Good. 

LIMERICK BOY (Paddy Miles.) 
A farce, by James Pilgrim; 5 male, 2 female. Time, 40 m. A tip-top 
farce. 

r3I NOT MESILF AT ALL. • 
A farce, by C. A. Maltby ; 3 male, ;2^ female. Tim©, 25 m. Very funny. 
A BOUND VOLUME 
Of plaj'8, containing the first ten plays in this catalogue, substantially ana 
handsomely bound in muslin, gilt stamp. Will he eeut, postpaid, for $1.25. 

FRIDAY AFTERNOON SERIES. , 
A collection of original, lively dialogues suitable for boys and girls in 
school entertainments. Some of the dialogues contain both m'ale and female 
characters; some are for boys alone; some for girls alone. All are short. 
Price, 25 cents. 

SCHOOL AND PARLOR T^IBLEAUX, 
By Sara L Stocking. A choice collection of original tableaux for school, 
church, and parlor entertainments. They embrace a wide range of subjects, 
from the classical to the comic. The historical tableaux admit the use of 
beautiful costumes, and caniiot fail to please. Full instructions given as to 
costume. The comic tableaux are simple and easily prepared. Price, 25cts. 

SCRAP-BOOK RECITATION SERIES, NO. /, 

By n. M. Soper, Professor of Elocution. A choice collection of fresh read- 
iii'gs, ])athetic, dramatic and humorous. The'editor has taken especial pains 
to )nake a collection chiefly of choice ruw 2)if''cs, which cannot easily be 
found elsewhere. The editors extended experience in teaching elocution has 
admirably qualified him for discriminating as to what is really adapted to 
elocutionary purposes. While special care has been taken to find i^ew and 
/■«re pieces, nothing has been admitted which does not contain real merit. 
Price, 25 cents. 

T. S.DENISON, Chicago. 



